04.08.08

Nerd groaner of the day

Did you know that for software bugs, the best career options are in the army? The following ranks are available:

Major Malfunction
Colonel Panic
General Failure

Verfasst von crenz um 08:11 | Kommentare (0) | TrackBack

10.04.08

Jetzt schon Sehnsucht nach Sommer?

Der Sommer fällt dieses Jahr auf einen Samstag
Heute morgen auf SWR1 (laut Kollege)

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15.01.08

Wenn du nicht brav bist...

Tomicek hat heute den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen.

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14.01.08

Asterisk und Obelisk

Die Idee zur Comicserie Asterisk und Obelisk hatte dummerweise schon jemand. Schade, das war heute mein Kalauer des Tages :-).

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04.10.06

Porkbeef

In Germany, McDonald's currently offers Asian meal specials, amongst them the Beef Lang-Zu (beef grab-it) burger.

Lan Zhu (懒猪) means “lazy pig”, by the way.

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28.07.06

my space is none of your business

no one ever made that joke before

Let's see how long it stays that way.

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17.07.06

Germanophil

Today, I discovered My Language Exchange. This (commercial) website connects people that want to help each other learn a language. Quite a lot of people signed up on the site, so that you can even find people to help you learn Yiddish or Thai.

However, I guess that not everyone included in the database is as highly motivated as this one:

German is the single greatest language on the face of the earth, and every moment that goes by in which I am not entirely fluent in it, is a moment I would rather not have lived.

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20.06.06

Soccer fever

The bets I invented on the spot for Tillmann's worldcup betting game are much better than I anticipated: After 2/3 of the first round is finished, I am the leader of the pack! I wouldn't have expected that... For those that didn't score so well: Even the Bild newspaper's so-called experts didn't fare better....

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08.01.06

The Best Blonde Joke In The World

Normally I don't find blonde jokes very funny, but this one is rather nice.

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09.12.05

When the last Kalender-sheets

When the last Kalender-sheets
flattern trough the winterstreets
and Dezemberwind is blowing,
then ist everybody knowing
that it is not mehr allzuweit:
she does come - the Weihnachtszeit.

All the Menschen, Leute, people
flippen out of ihr warm Stueble,
run to Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess,
make Konsum and business.
Kaufen this und jene things
and the Churchturmglocke rings.

Manche holen sich a Taennchen,
when this brennt, they cry "Attention".
Rufen for the Feuerwehr:
"Please come quick to löschen her!"
Goes the Tännchen of in Rauch,
they are standing on the Schlauch.

In the kitchen of the house
mother makes the Christmasschmaus.
She is working, schufts and bakes,
the hit is now her Yoghurtkeks.
And the Opa says als Tester:
"We are killed bis to Silvester."

Then he fills the last Glas wine -
yes, this is the christmas time!
Day by day does so vergang,
and the Holy night does come.
You can think, you can remember,
this is immer in Dezember.

Then the childrenlein are coming
candle-Wachs is abwärts running.
Bing of Crosby Christmas sings
while the Towerglocke rings
and the angels look so fine -
well this is the Weihnachtstime.

Baby-eyes are big and rund,
the familiy feels kerngesund
when unterm Weihnachtsbaum they're hocking
then nothing can them ever shocking.
They are so happy, are so fine -
this happens in the Chistmastime!

The animals all in the house,
the Hund, the Katz, the bird, the mouse,
are turning round the Weihnachtsstress,
enjoy this day as never less,
well, they find Kittekat and Chappi
in the Geschenkkarton von Pappi.

The family begins to sing
and wieder does a Glöckchen ring.
Zum song vom grünen Tannenbaum
the Tränen rinnen down and down.
Bis our mother plötzlich flennt:
"The christmas-Gans im Ofen brennt!"
Her nose indeed is very fine.
End of the Weihnachtstime.

Author unknown

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When the snow falls wunderbar

When the snow falls wunderbar
And the children happy are,
When the Glatteis on the street,
And we all a Glühwein need,
Then you know, es ist soweit:
She is here, the Weihnachtszeit

Every Parkhaus ist besetzt,
Weil die people fahren jetzt
All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt,
Kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt.
Shopping hirnverbrannte things
And the Christmasglocke rings.

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht,
Merry Christmas allerseits...

Mother in the kitchen bakes
Schoko-, Nuss- and Mandelkeks
Daddy in the Nebenraum
Schmücks a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum
He is hanging auf the balls,
Then he from the Leiter falls...

Finally the Kinderlein
To the Zimmer kommen rein
And es sings the family
Schauerlich: "Oh, Chistmastree!"
And the jeder in the house
Is packing die Geschenke aus.

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht,
Merry Christmas allerseits...

Mama finds unter the Tanne
Eine brandnew Teflon-Pfanne,
Papa gets a Schlips and Socken,
Everybody does frohlocken.
President speaks in TV,
All around is Harmonie,

Bis mother in the kitchen runs:
Im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans.
And so comes die Feuerwehr
With Tatü, tata daher,
And they bring a long, long Schlauch
An a long, long Leiter auch.
And they schrei - "Wasser marsch!",
Christmas is - now im - Eimer...

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Hear the music, see the lights,
Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht,
Merry Christmas allerseits...

Author unknown

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30.07.05

Oberseite-kerbe Aufnahmen

While cleaning up my hard disk, I found this e-mail from 1999. The machine translation to German is rather funny:

hello- Wirklich wie Sie zum Überprüfen aus unserem Band TRIANGLEMAN auf mp3.com! es ist Spaß-upbeat-merkwürdig-knallen-Felsen mit eine verdrehten MentalitätOberseite-kerbe Aufnahmen durch ein hohes und kommendes USA-based Band http://www.mp3.com/triangleman Dank, - triangleman


hello-
We'd really like you to check out our band
TRIANGLEMAN
on mp3.com!
it's fun-upbeat-strange-pop-rock with a twisted mentality. top-notch recordings by an up and coming tennessee-based band. http://www.mp3.com/triangleman

thanks,
-triangleman

Verfasst von crenz um 14:57 | Kommentare (1) | TrackBack